In the late 80s, early 90s, my then husband and I attended a Bible college in Indiana. While there, my home church in Illinois was going through struggles.
The pastor in Illinois started throwing his weight around and becoming a bully. Since my father was on the board of that church, I heard some of the ridiculous things that went on.
Since it was so long ago, I do not remember much of the details. But one thing that stood out to me was my conversation with the Dean's wife of the Bible college. As I was relating to her the trials and tribulations of my home church she just nodded and said, "This happens more than you know." She said it like she has heard this story many time. She offered no advice. She only lent a sympathetic ear.
So, now, I not only have the story of a "Christian" abusive man with a folding chair, I was hearing the inside scoop, the unspoked truth that many more churches struggle with spiritually abusive leadership than what polite Christians want to acknowledge. I did not want this information. I liked skipping around with the rainbows and butterflies of blissful ignorance. But because people I knew and cared about were suffering, I could not hide or pretend it was a one-off, uncommon thing anymore.
The book the the people of that congregation passed around to each other to help one another cope was, "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen.
So, yes. Spiritual abuse was so common that there was a book written about it back in the early 90s.
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